"There ain't no such thing as halfway cooks"
*Long Post Warning * What makes a good burrito? I’ve spent many sleepless nights pondering this question over the past eight months. You see, I live in the Mission district of San Francisco - home to one of the greatest late night drunk foods ever. Wait - scratch that - one of the most iconic foods ever. No I’m not talking about the cheap imitation version you can get at Chipotle, or the flaccid cylinder of mush and grease you can order at Taco Bell. No. I’m talking about the often imitated, but never truly duplicated, San Francisco Mission Burrito. To the uninitiated, let me first explain what makes a Mission burrito a Mission burrito. Traditional burritos – “regular burritos” – consist of 3 basic ingredients: meat, rice, and beans wrapped in a flour tortilla (always a flour tortilla). In the 1960s, Mexican taquerias in the Mission district modified this original formula by including extra items such as salsa, guacamole, sour cream, and cheese to the burrito. Fundamentally, this is what distinguishes a Mission-style burrito from a “regular burrito” – the delicious extras. The other element of a Mission burrito is found in its method of preparation. Burritos that include extra ingredients tend to become overstuffed, break open, and this makes for a bad eating experience. To overcome this inherent deficiency, the San Franciscan taqueria chefs pioneered a special technique that allowed the tortilla to hold more things. To do this, chefs would steam the tortilla for a few minutes, softening it, and making the wrapping more pliable and stretchy. This would also make the tortilla chewy-er, giving the Mission burrito its distinctive, toothsome quality. So in summary, a Mission burrito is defined by two main elements – the inclusion of extra ingredients and the tortilla steaming technique. Unless the burrito has these two elements, it cannot be considered a Mission-style burrito. Finally – just as a side note – PLEASE don’t call a Mission burrito a “Mission burrito” if you’re ordering one here in San Francisco. It would be analogous to asking for a “NY Style Pizza” at a pizza shop in New York or a “Philly Cheesesteak” at Geno’s in South Philly. It’s blasphemous, and makes you look like a tourist. The proper way of ordering is to ask for a “super burrito.” This is what locals call Mission style burritos. Many taquerias will offer regular burritos, but if you want the real deal – go for the “super.” Also, don’t do any dumb shit like asking for spinach-flavored tortillas or chips in your burrito – things I have actually heard uneducated neophytes ask for – get the super burrito, choose your meat, choose your beans, and go. Get it? Great, let’s move on. Now, back to the original question – what makes a good burrito? After extensive research into this matter (resulting in 100 days and 100 nights of heartburn, meat sweats, and fire-shits), I’ve concluded that a good burrito can be judged on 3 dimensions:
Structural Integrity Structural Integrity refers to the burrito’s construction. Let me unpack this a bit. Construction refers to how structurally sound the burrito is, and how the interior ingredients have been arranged. In my opinion, the mark of the good burrito is one that can pass the eating-on-the-go test and has even ingredient distribution. The eating-on-the-go test is simple. If you can eat the burrito with one hand while walking around, it passes the test. This means that the burrito holds its shape as you eat it, and there is minimal spillage of its interior ingredients. Even ingredient distribution means you get a little bit of everything with every bite. Although this is not achievable all the time, there should be a good distribution of meat, rice, beans, cheese, salsa, guac, and sour cream – in my burrito-eating evaluations, if I got at least 5 out of the 8 ingredients with every bite, I would say the burrito’s ingredients were evenly distributed. Flavor Flavor is a relatively subjective criterion. Everyone has different tastes, and not everyone likes the same flavors as I do. I spoke with some of my fellow mission-burrito-aficionados about their flavor preferences and received a multitude of divergent answers. Some said they preferred a greasier funkier, meaty flavor, while others preferred a fresher, cleaner taste. I definitely lean on the fresher tasting side. My favorite Mission burritos are the ones that have meaty underlying base-notes that are punctuated by fresh, spicy salsas. At the end of the day, I think the best burritos are well balanced in the flavor department – every ingredient’s flavor is present, and not one ingredient overpowers each bite. I also give extra points to the burritos with a little hidden flavor – an extra marinade on the meat before it gets fried, or a subtle, garlicky je ne sais quoi added to the guac. All in all, the burritos with a good flavor balance get the thumbs up in my books. Size & Value Living in a city like San Francisco, I refuse to pay more than 10 dollars for a burrito. Let me repeat that – BURRITOS SHOULD COST NO MORE THAN 10 DOLLARS. I could go to Californios and get the best burrito of my life with free-range, waygu asada, truffled beans, and saffron rice, but if it costs more than 10 dollars, it’s not making my ranking. I live in a city where the average rent for a studio apartment is $3500 a month, and the average cup of coffee with run you about $4. If 60% of my monthly income goes towards my extremely overpriced rent, I am - for damn sure - not paying more than ten bucks for a burrito. Fundamentally, burritos are a working man's food, and should be an affordable meal that fills you up. After eating a Mission burrito, you should at least feel satisfied for the next 3-4 hours. When I first arrived in SF and didn’t have a job, I survived on the two-burrito-a-day diet: I spent 20 bucks a day, felt perpetually full, had regular BM’s, and clogged my arteries like shoving glue down a straw. It was fucking amazing. Alright, now that you know how I will be evaluating these burritos, on to the rankings. The RankingsJust a thing to note: To maintain consistency for my reviews, I made sure to order the exact same thing at every establishment – a carne asada super burrito. Not any of the other meat burritos, not any of the weird seafood burritos combinations, not the main dishes… Just a plain ol’ carne asada super burrito. 12. Taqueria La Cumbre 515 Valencia St, San Francisco, CA 94110
There is not much to say about this burrito: a flavorless hunk of rice and beans with slimy, tired meat. At close to 11 dollars, this is an affront to the very notion of a Mission burrito. Also, the salsa bar looks like a public health hazard. Interesting side fact: the building that this taqueria is located in is actually the former headquarters of the Mission Promotion Association, a fundamental community organization that was integral to the development and preservation of the Mission District in the late 19th and early 20th century! 11. Taqueria El Buen Sabor 697 Valencia St, San Francisco, CA 94110
Taqueria El Buen Sabor should rebrand itself as Taqueria El Malo Sabor or Taqueria El Salado Sabor because taste was definitely lacking for this burrito. At best, this burrito can be described as “run-of-the-mill.” It is large and provides a lot of food, but most of the interior is rice and beans. The meat was flavorless and incredibly salty. Ditto for the salsas – bland and watery sauces with little depth. You can probably find better salsas at Safeway. Finally, although I asked for a super burrito, the cheese and sour cream were conspicuously absent in my meal! At $9.78 this burrito isn’t too expensive, so if you are looking for a filling, bland burrito, El Buen Sabor has you covered. 10. La Taqueria 2889 Mission St, San Francisco, CA 94110
“MATT, HOW COULD YOU PUT LA TAQ THIRD FROM LAST?!?! HOW IS THIS RANKING SYSTEM DETERMINED? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, La Taq is 10th on the list. Although you may have read about their "Best Burrito in America” title, I am sad to reveal that this storied Mission institution actually serves a pretty pathetic burrito. I wanted to believe the hype. I really did. The long line of hungry patrons snaking out the building seems to suggest that this burrito is worth the wait. However, do not be deceived – it is not. There are many things wrong with La Taq’s burritos. Chief among them is the price. I paid 11 dollars for a skinny cylinder of mush. This is way above the 10 dollar threshold, and I promptly went to Mcdonalds after my meal because I wasn’t full. They even charge you extra for chips (a cardinal sin). You see, a lot of the problems with a La Taq burrito stems from their refusal to include rice in it. The owner will tell you that he is “giving you more meat and less filler,” but this is a blatant lie. The burrito is small, and mostly filled with a gloopy mixture of sour cream, beans and cheese. The steak, while possessing a good beefy taste, is not charred or crisp. In fact, I would describe it as wet, spongy, and sparse. Furthermore, because there isn’t any rice, the burrito is thin and small (almost half the diameter of a standard Mission burrito). Rice is paramount to any burrito's structural integrity, and La Taq's burrito is about as structurally sound as the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. This burrito absolutely FAILS the eating-on-the-go test: it is flaccid, messy, and my burrito's tortilla broke multiple times during the course of my meal, allowing its liquid insides to leak all over my hands. Finally, there was a strong, pervasive onion-y taste throughout the burrito that overwhelmed my tastebuds from tasting the other ingredients (not good). Honestly, if you are in the Mission looking for a burrito, skip this place entirely. They may have been better before the fame and good press, but as it currently stands, La Taq is subpar. I guess this is pretty typical of most over-hyped restaurants – good once upon a time, but slowly deteriorating in quality as their popularity grows. Gentrification is such a tragedy… 9. The Little Chihuahua 581 Valencia St, San Francisco, CA 94110
I immediately knew this burrito was going to be disappointing after counting the number of locals sitting down to eat. Located on a very trendy block of Valencia Street, the décor of The Little Chihuahua is slightly more upscale – don’t expect the grease-stained walls and faded menu plaques that read “cash only” typifying most Mission-district Taquerias. You can definitely tell that this place caters to the “tech-yuppie” demographic. Before I even ordered, I was suspicious of this burrito’s authenticity. Would it adhere to the established tenets of Mission burrito-dom? Or would it present a cheap, commercialized imitation of the defining meal of the historically working-class neighborhood? I am sad to report that the latter proved more applicable in this case. There were many things wrong with this burrito. First, the exterior tortilla was dry and crusty. This contrasted the sopping wet interior that leaked all over my hand. The overly crusty tortilla caused large parts of the flour wrapping to chip away, allowing the interior ingredients to fall out while I was eating it. I was even presented with a fork and knife alongside my meal (An admission of structural deficiency by the Little Chihuahua proprietors). Moving along, the texture of the burrito's carne asada was uncharacteristically tender and chopped into large chunks. Each bite was dominated by one ingredient. Sometimes I would get a mouthful of steak, while other times, I would get a mouthful of sour cream. Disappointing, and the mark of a poorly constructed burrito. The flavor? Forgettable. I was forced to add some of their sub-par, one-dimensional salsas in order to make this burrito even palatable (A word of caution about their salsas – the yellow citrus one is incredibly spicy and not for the faint of heart). All in all this burrito was a major disappointment, but not entirely unexpected. Say it with me now: Gentrification S.U.C.K.S. 8. Taqueria Los Coyotes 3036 16th St, San Francisco, CA 94103
I was very impressed to learn that only 3 guys run this large Taqueria that regularly draws long lines on weekend nights. The burrito is good, but due to their apparent understaffing situation, the finer details of this burrito are neglected. The meat suffers from being overly fried. Although this creates a nice crispy effect on the steak, it is a little too crisp and a little too greasy for my liking. To balance this out, use Coyotes’ plethora of fresh salsas to cut the fatty flavor. While their burrito is solid, Coyotes' burrito is at least 2 dollars overpriced. Something to consider when there is another fine taqueria across the street (more on that later). 7. Taqueria Cancun 2288 Mission St, San Francisco, CA 94110
Many people are probably surprised that Taqueria Cancun comes so low on my list. This is another perennial favorite amongst the San Franciscan burrito cognoscenti. That said, if you look on yelp (and filter out the tourist reviews), you will get the sense that the quality at Taqueria Cancun has recently declined. Cancun’s burrito is analogous to El Farolito’s, but less well executed. It is big, creamy, greasy, and dominated by a heavy, meaty flavor. The steak is very salty, but has cleaner taste than Farolito’s as it does not seem to be marinated in a blend of herbs and spices. Cancun's burrito is also very large - I always have a hard time finishing their burrito in one sitting. It has a wide girth, which makes this a difficult burrito to eat on the go (it barely passes the eating-on-the-go test). Although these things are concerning, Cancun capitalizes on value by providing a solid burrito for a very low price. 6. La Corneta Taqueria 2731 Mission St, San Francisco, CA 94110
La Corneta is the Goldilocks porridge of Mission burritos. Not too big, not too heavy, not dominated by one flavor… This burrito is very well balanced. La Corenta minces their carne asada very finely and adds just the right amount of rice. They have a knockout salsa verde that you can apply to your burrito as well – just look for the green squirt bottles on every table! Although the service can be a little slow (be prepared to wait 15-20 minutes), La Corneta makes a strong burrito. 5. Taqueria San Francisco 2794 24th St, San Francisco, CA 94110
Taqueria San Francisco is located on 24th street in the southeastern corner of the Mission. This burrito is GOOD. The carne asada is a little different from other Taquerias I've visited – it is almost ground, not finely minced or cut into strips. As a result, the texture of this burrito is a little different. In fact, I think the texture of this burrito is what makes it unique. The tortilla is a little thicker and chewy-er than the standard Mission burrito. While there is less rice in it, the structural integrity has not been compromised. The meat has seemingly been marinated, with strong notes of garlic coming through. The burrito is also very creamy - I attribute this to the copious amounts of sour cream, not cheese in it. The only reason why this burrito scores a little lower in flavor category is because of the conspicuously absent pico de gallo. I asked for salsa picante, and was promptly handed a jar of insipid-looking salsa. The vegetables were desiccated, the flavor was absent, and the salsa was lacking any vestige of capsicum. If you are looking for a large, chewy, creamy burrito, Taqueria San Francisco has you covered, but if you prefer a fresher, more balanced tasting flavor, go somewhere else. 4. Taqueria El Farolito 2779 Mission St, San Francisco, CA 94110
Taqueria El Farolito is the perennial favorite for Mission burritos amongst most San Franciscans. Ask any local which Taqueria makes the best burritos and I guarantee 7/10 people will reply with “El Farolito.” There is a lot to like about this burrito: robust assembly, good ingredient distribution, and exemplary value. Farolito’s only misstep is in the flavor category. Now before I get vilified by SF burrito-eating community, I want to reiterate that I prefer a fresher, more balanced taste when it comes to my burritos. I enjoy when every bite is not overpowered by a particular flavor, but the taste of El Farolito’s burritos definitely skew more towards the meaty, greasier side. That being said, their carne asada is complex: the beef spends a little extra time on the flat top, crisping up the edges and providing a deeper, richer taste. I also detected that they marinate their beef. There were prevailing notes of garlic and oregano imbued in their meat (most taquerias do not take the extra time to do this). Farolito also wins big points in the value department. I can usually finish an entire burrito in one sitting, but whenever I go to Farolito, I only get ¾ of the way through. Let also not forget that this burrito only costs $8.95. That’s right, $8.95! Far below the $10 dollar threshold, and 1.5 times the size of most Mission burritos. THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF VALUE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. All in all, if you are seeking a big, greasy burrito with exceptional carne asada, El Farolito is the place for you. 3. El Metate Restaurant 2406 Bryant St San Francisco, CA 94110
El Metate is aptly called a restaurant, not a Taqueria. You immediately notice this aspect in the décor and ambiance of the place. They have a quaint little patio area outside. They serve you your salsas in little ceramic pots. They have a formal sit down area replete with terracotta tiles and nice painted murals. They even have metal cutlery! Grease-stained walls and “cash-only” signs this place is not. The air of greater refinement is most acutely noticed in the quality of their burritos. Do not get it confused, Metate’s burrito is very, very good. The taste is exemplary – the rice, cheese, and beans combine to create this creamy, luscious flavor that envelops the burrito’s other ingredients. The steak is superb – a deep, beefy taste that, texture-wise, is both chunky and finely minced. Metate doesn’t overdo it on the rice either. The burrito was packed to the brim with non-filler ingredients. The tortilla was also correctly chewy, and served as a strong wrapper to maintain the structural integrity of the meal. The only place where Metate falls down is value. 10 dollars for a burrito is a lot, and I left feeling hungry - it should be at least 1.5 times as big for the price. While a little on the expensive side, Metate serves up a fine burrito for the more discerning burrito-eater. 2. Taqueria Pancho Villa/ El Toro 3071 16th St, San Francisco, CA 94103
If Henry Ford was still alive today and decided to make burritos instead of cars, he would have most likely modeled his restaurant like Taqueria Pancho Villa. The lines usually extend beyond the restaurant’s entrance, and due to this spillover demand, they opened a smaller outpost down the block on Valencia St called El Toro. Even with the army of chefs working at full tilt, you still need to wait ~15 minutes for your order to be made during peak feeding hours. Walking into Pancho Villa, you are first confronted with the tantalizing smell of grilled meats. It is a large restaurant with a cavernous ceiling and little tables scattered around the floor facing the open kitchen. As you line up to place your order, you bear witness to their entire operation. On the surface, the flurry of activity seems like disorganized chaos, however, looking closer, you realize this kitchen is actually a well-oiled, highly efficient burrito making machine. There is no time to vacillate over your order – you select your type of burrito, the type of meat, the type of beans, and spicy or non-spicy salsa. Fuck that up, and you will be handed a judgmental scowl by the middle aged, Mexican woman behind the counter. Although the service may be a bit brusque, the real reason to come is the burrito. Evenly distributed ingredients? Check. Construction that can stand up to the eating-on-the-go test? Check? Flavor? Check. Pancho’s carne asada burrito is evenly balanced in all categories. Not too large, not one flavor overpowers, not overly greasy, and all at a good price. The meat in this burrito is always nicely minced. The rice, beans and cheese form this soft, gooey mix, while the chunky salsa provides a nice, refreshing crunch to each bite. Wrapped tightly with good even ingredient distribution, the burrito never falls apart while you’re eating it. Pancho is known for their plethora of salsas, and the spicy pico de gallo does not disappoint. The salsa is the element that really makes this burrito a winner – the chunky vegetables cut through greasy, meaty funk of the steak and cheese. The pico is also spicy! Although I like eating my Pancho burrito with their fantastic salsa verde, the pico de gallo in the burrito often makes the extra salsa superfluous. The meat well seasoned, and you can really taste each discrete ingredient of the burrito with every bite – a rarity for most burritos I eat. For the standout flavor due to the salsa, the Pancho Villa’s burrito takes second place. 1. Taqueria Guadalajara
3146 24th St, San Francisco, CA 94110
I didn’t want to like Taqueria Guadalajara. I thought my favorite Mission burrito was Taqueria Pancho Villa for the longest time. Whenever anyone asked me which burrito I liked the most in the Mission, I would faithfully reply “Pancho Villa.” I really wanted to put Pancho Villa first in the rankings, I really did. However, on a hot afternoon in April, I made my way down to 24th street and walked into this nondescript taqueria. Unbeknownst to me, my world was about to be turned upside down. The décor is nothing to write home about. It is the typical San Francisco taqueria décor: terracotta tile floors, white adobe style walls, multiple ceiling fans spinning at slow speeds. I ordered my typical order – a carne asada super burrito. The food was slow to arrive, which allowed me to peruse the salsa bar. I scooped a little sauce into the tiny plastic cups, sat down, and waited - we’ll come back to the salsas later. After 5 minutes or so (it was off feeding hours), the perfect incarnation of a mission burrito was placed in front of me. The first thing you notice is that this is a big burrito. It is almost 6 inches, and at $9.50, it comes in as a perfect 10 on the value scale. The second thing you notice is that Guadalajara serves their burritos Dorado style. What does this mean? Essentially, Dorado style burritos are grilled in a Panini press after assembly. This accomplishes 3 things. First, the burrito’s tortilla develops a warm, crispy exterior that creates a satisfying crunch when you bite into it. Secondly, the burrito’s interior gets heated-up nicely, allowing the cheese to melt and combine with the other ingredients to create a satisfying, gooey mélange. Finally, the grilled exterior adds to the structural integrity of the burrito, compressing the interior, and allowing it to hold together sturdily. Most taquerias only make their burritos Dorado style on request, but Guadalajara does this unprompted. They get plus 100 points for this alone. The burrito is simply amazing. Although I prefer a finer mince of the meat, Guadalajara cuts their carne asada into bite-sized strips. As a result, the full, meaty flavor of the steak prevails as you eat it - the meaty funk is omnipresent without being overpowering. The flavor is complex, and is dominated by notes of onion, steak, and starch. That being said, I was able to taste each discrete ingredient with almost every bite. Interestingly, Guadalajara opts for slices of avocado instead of guacamole in their burrito. I appreciated this unusual feature, as it gave the burrito more texture while still allowing the creamy, fatty (the good fat) taste of the avocado to shine through. Add some of their flavorful salsas to the burrito and fuck the game up. Please note that these salsas not for the faint of heart – they are incredibly spicy! I left with a running nose and a mouth throbbing in pain. That said, they have a multi-layered flavor profile with nice depth in flavor. Their standout sauce is the yellow, habanero salsa. With notes of citrus, tomatillo, and habanero, this is the clear winner. If you prefer something with a little less of a kick, opt for their salsa verde, which is a solid salsa in its own right. I wolfed this burrito down and left more than satisfied. If you are looking for the best burrito in the Mission, Gualadajara is the place to go.
1 Comment
2/20/2021 02:58:08 pm
Not bad! I saw a similar post from you on Medium today but I'm not a paying customer so I looked this up instead. I've lived here since the 60s and have been to most of these places. I think Taq. San José belongs on this list but you do you.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |